• parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
  • clock: 11:01
  • me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now

satans-advocate:

sext: i want to pay bills and share household duties and approach our late 20’s in a financially and emotionally stable way with you

(via troptard)

slutcentre:

did u know u can have a sleep over with ur friend without having a 200 second snapchat story????? :)

(via server-vevo)

morningwine:

are those pants made by karl marx? because dat ass is causing an uprising in my lower class.

(via troptard)

puppetparade:

image

are you sure?

(Source: kittenhun, via stansalot)

officialalltimelow:

Meeting people on tumblr

PERKS:

  • attractive
  • into the same shit as you
  • kind and understanding
  • humorous
  • good company
  • easy to talk to

CONS:

  • LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE OR ON JUPITER 

(via cosmic-bae)

toxicmp3:

i cant listen to the french part in partition bc i ALWAYS have flashback to the time a guy told me to speak french in his ear while we were doin it bc i had said i took 4 years of it when we were flirtin and he thought that meant i was good and i just said apple juice in french and he came

(via troptard)